MT. PULAG. THE IMPOSSIBLE CLIMB

I am a typical BARBIE GIRL, who wants everything in proper, particularly neat and clean. I always wanted to look beautiful, my outfit chic and stylish. I want my hair neatly tied up or delicately curled or ironed. That’s me… but who says it could stop me from climbing the mountain where they said I would be completely messed up? Yes, I am a barbie girl, but I am still ABBY BORJA, an epitome of a modern day Filipina.

THE CALL

It was April when I got an invite to summit Mount Pulag. I was hesitant, not because I can’t but because I was worried I’ll get really dark, but I guess I didn’t care that much so I said YES! Its summer and the darker you are, the sexier you become, so what the heck!

LIFE LESSON: Answer the call.

THE DETRACTOR

After I announced to the whole world that I accepted the challenge of daring to climb Mount Pulag, came the DOUBTING THOMASes. They said, I couldn't, told me it was too ambitious for a FIRST TIME climber, after all it was the THIRD HIGHEST peak in the Philippines. They advised me that I should take on the smaller mountains first. I knew where they were coming from, they were concerned but I also knew the woman whom they are talking to more than they did, she is not to be taken lightly, she is more than a conqueror, she is strong and she would set her sight on a goal and then do whatever is needed to get there. I know without a doubt that she can. So I shut my ears to all those voices telling me I cannot, that I will fail and decisively told myself to ONLY listen to that still small voice that says, “YOU CAN.”

LIFE LESSON: Anyone who thinks some thing is more than you can handle is less the kind of person that you need in your life. DO NOT LISTEN!

Being afraid is okay, but if you don't walk through that fear you might miss out on pretty great things.
You don't wanna miss this for the world!!!

THE JOURNEY

Me and my cousin arrived at Pasay Victory Liner at around nine in the evening, we met the other people whom we will be climbing with, altogether we were eight in the group. We waited for 10PM bus trip to Baguio. Going up there, I didn’t feel anything at all, no excitement, no worries, no nothing… maybe because I wasn’t with the person I imagined climbing it with… he wasn’t there, he couldn’t come, and so I face the unknown, something I’ve never done before ALONE. I felt blank, “JUST DO IT and come home Abby,” I told myself.

We arrived at Baguio around four in the morning, it was cold up there, they were all excited, I guess mine just started to kick in. I wanted this trip to be worthwhile so I forced myself to forget everything in Manila. But I can’t… I just couldn’t get him out of my head. I find myself constantly thinking of him and I hate it. I really really really really really really  like him, and this feelings is taking a toll on me. I wanted to clear my mind and I needed this trip to help me do it. “He is not here for a reason. You are more than a feeling Abby.” And so I focused myself.

We arrived at DENR for an orientation around eight in the morning. All campers were all excited and each group has a name but ours, so ridiculously we called our group “SUPERFRIENDS.” What a name! Haha! We are group of strangers, the only person I know is Ate Jan, the reason why I was there, Philsen, a college friend and my cousin, everyone else was a complete stranger. But as I trekked with them, slowly but very sure became genuinely friends to me.

I met Hannah, she is a skinny tall cute girl. She is Ate Jan’s younger sister and she was actually the youngest in our group. She has braces and she loves to take photos and her shots are amazing. She is quiet but she is a smart girl. Oh well, she is currently studying in my alma mater. Sure she is!

I met Michelle, she is a single mom. She is very charming and easy to get along with. For her age, I was challenged to keep up with her phase though this was really my first climb ever. She is so nice, sharing everything she has from gummy bears, chips, socks and I will never forget the trash bags she gave me that saved me from that 2 degree Celsius night at camp 3. Her laugh is so contagious.

I met Anton, Ate Jan’s boyfriend. He is a small guy but of course cute. He is an Alabang boy who doesn’t know what “arkila” means. If you also don’t know what that means, it’s a tagalog word for RENT.

I met Carlo, I can describe him in three words, “over-the-top.” Because everything he brought with him is a little bit extravagant. From his 8-person capacity tent where we can honestly party in to his overly powered headlamp that can literally lighten the whole camp. We call him “senorito” because he barely does things himself, he always ask porters to do it for him. But the funny thing is, he was extravagant about all things but one: food. He didn’t bring food with him so he constantly waiting for leftovers. He is so cute he told us, “Atleast ako tanggap ko sarili ko.” I cried, haha!

I knew Philsen, way back from college days, he was my ex’s classmate. He is a quiet guy. I’ve learned that he is also the bread-winner and I admire him for that. He also took good care of me. He graciously left his well set-up tent when I asked him to share tent with the other guys, so I can tent there by myself. He lends me his pillow and sleeping bag even I know he also needs it. He is a fine gentleman.

Then of course Ate Jan, I knew her from our organization in college, TUGON-RESCUE, she was rich-brat kid, a bully and I thought maybe she won’t talk to me. But I was amazed when she invited me and literally talked to me. I mean, really listened to all my dramas and heart issues. She truly cares! She is like a mother-hen, making sure everyone is okay. Kept checking on us, made sure we ate. She loves taking care of people. I was wrong about this girl. Thought she was hard, heartless human being, but I was wrong. She is amazing, truly amazing!

Lastly my cousin Aja, oh well we know each other for over 20years now, we grew up together. The trip won’t be this fulfilling without sharing it with him. I love him very very much and I know he knows that. In fact, I am his most favorite cousin, ehem! Haha! I hope to share more climbs and camps with you couz!

The people that you choose to bring with you will make a great difference in your climb. Choose those people who will encourage you when you feel like giving up, who will stick with you no matter how rocky the road gets, who will continue to believe in you no matter how many times you fail. Choose those people who are genuinely happy to see you happy.

We started trekking around ten in the morning, the sun was so up but we barely feel the heat because it was still cold. Everyone else got porters (the one who carries your stuff) except me, my cousin and Philsen. I stubbornly refuse to get a porter merely because of my pride, I wanted to summit Mount Pulag without anyone lifting a finger for me, it has always been my principle. Little did I know I was setting myself up for a great disaster. So I trekked with a big bag on my back and a plastic bag on my right hand. It wasn’t easy. Quite a few minutes had passed and I was panting, barely breathing but in my head I kept telling myself, “Do not be a dead-weight!” and so I continued climbing. My heart began pounding so hard and fast I knew I needed to rest and so I called for a time out. I was exhausted and everyone immediately became aware of my struggle. My cousin whispered, “Kaya mo pa couz?” I just looked at him and nodded. Then came the follow up question, “May dala ka bang gamot?” this time I looked at Ate Jan, hoping she didn’t’ hear what my cousin said but she did. In her disbelief she asked, “May asthma ka???” I didn’t have the strength to reply but my very very good cousin confirmed that I have. I didn’t tell Ate Jan that I have asthma on a thought that she might not allow me, but I was there already and no one can stop me from rising up.

“’I needed to get there! ‘ I told myself. 

‘If I had to crawl my way up there I will but I’m not gonna give up. I will not miss it for the world. I didn’t go all the way here just to back out. I came here to win.’”

So we continued… the trail going to Camp 1 was so steep, my legs are starting to get a little shaky but my faith is solid. “Abby just keep on putting one foot forward, we will take it one step at a time okay?” I am trying to encourage myself this time because I am feeling a little discouraged already. I couldn’t breathe properly, I was carrying a big heavy bag, they said we are just 1/8 through and I asked myself how can I make it to the next 7/8 if I was this wrecked already? My heart and my mind started battling. I knew I needed to make a decision, it was a make or break for me. I stopped, so did my cousin who is in front of me, I turned around saw Philsen and the guide right behind me. Everybody went silent waiting for my next move. Teary eyed, grasping for my breath, can barely speak, I managed to let words come out from my dry mouth, I asked our guide, “Ku-ya-can-I-still-get-a-por-ter from here? Can?” and he said, “CAN!” He pointed his chest and he smiled at me. My heart skipped and a tear fell because I know a guide couldn’t or shouldn’t supposed to carry stuff but he understand that his “Yes” is a miracle I desperately needed that time. It was indeed a make or break because had he said NO, I would never turn my back again and I will head straight back home. So I handed him my bag and the plastic bag from my right hand, Kuya Joey graciously received the baggage I have been carrying and he was happy to see me relieved. We continued trekking, without those baggages, I can easily hop, run, climb and groove my way to the top. There is indeed so much wisdom in letting go.

LIFE LESSON: Life is like an uphill climb, you gotta let go of the baggage that is slowing you down. Maybe those baggages are people who keep on pulling you down or maybe a past or a habit or an attitude that you know you have to let go. Don’t be afraid to lose them. Don’t be afraid to surrender it all to God. He cares and He understands. And just like my guide who graciously received my entire burden God is also willing to do it for you, if and only you are willing to let it go.

Eventually, we reached Camp 1 and for me it feels like an achievement. We rested for a while and immediately headed to Camp 2, the trail is called Mossy Forest or Rainforest. It was mostly a gradual walk unlike the steep trail to Camp 1. It was so cool walking under those big trees covered by mosses. While walking to Camp 2, I noticed that the trail remains constant per camp. While it seems like everything looks the same, I know for a fact that is was never the same tree and it was never the same rock, I am pretty sure I was going somewhere but then I realized how often we, let trials and circumstances we face today dictate our tomorrows. How easily we give up thinking, “It’s the same! I’ve been here over and over again! It’s the same shit! I’m done! I am not getting anywhere!” But no! Just like the trail in each camp, it may seem like it’s all the same: same trees, same rock, same road but it’s not. You will get to your destination as long as you keep on putting one foot forward. It doesn’t matter if for you nothing is happening and nothing is changing because I can absolutely say that there is NEVER NOTHING GOING ON you just need to keep on moving on and pressing on and sooner than you know, YOU HAVE ARRIVED.

And YES, true enough we have arrived at Camp 2, we had our quick lunch and immediately made our way to Saddle Camp or Camp 3. The trail to camp 3 was mostly a walk in the park. It is grasslands and it’s scenic. It took us only an hour and a half hour to reach Saddle Camp. We were fast the guide told us. So we pitched the tent, four in total. As the sun goes down so is the temperature. It dropped from 9 degree Celsius to 7 degree and to 6. I started to get anxious, it was just six in the evening and the temperature is this cold what more during midnight. We ate dinner and socialized. We had really good chats despite the temperature. We were laughing most of the time because most of us is farting endlessly. But the temperature continues to drop and so we got in to our tents and turned off all the lights. I was the first one to fell asleep, but the coldness woke me up and to my disbelief it was just nine in the evening, I tried hard to put myself back to sleep again but after a few minutes I woke up again, checked what time it is and it is just eleven in the evening. I was already furious this time! It was so cold, I had three clothes on me already, three beanies, two scarves, three warmers, socks, trash bag, sleeping bag and a comforter wrapped around me and I am still cold. My both legs were aching terribly and my head too. My back and my neck were in pain because of the uneven ground. I was helpless and this time I told myself I’m done!

“Why did I come up here? My Gosh!!! What was I thinking? 

I have a good bed in my place God. I can’t believe I came up here only to suffer! 

I don’t need to experience this. Oh God, PLEASE TAKE ME HOME!!!”

And God said, “Child, My grace is sufficient for you.”

I was going crazy! I was already cursing! I begged God, “If you are not taking me home now, God please just make me fall asleep, please I begged you, please keep me warm!” As soon as I prayed that prayer I was knocked out and the next thing I know it was four thirty in the morning. I got up immediately, put on my shoes, get my flashlight and headed my way to the summit. I didn’t even dare waited for anyone to come up with me. Honestly, though none go with me I will still go. I wouldn’t miss it for the world! It was too cold, it was too dark, it was too steep, it was too hard but isn’t it true that the closer we get to our dream the harder it gets?

“’I needed to get there before the sun comes up,’ I told myself. ‘ I didn’t experience all those physical discomfort and emotional pain and struggle and what have you only to miss out what we all came here for. I needed to get there!!! Oh God please help me!’”

I started to sob! I was afraid to miss it and so I climbed harder, faster. I am losing my breath.

 “Cmon Abby! You can do it! Almost there honey! Keep pushing! Don’t stop! Don’t stop!”

Halfway through I was already crying, I can almost see the horizon turning yellow and I pleaded God.

“Oh please God, delay it. Please please let me come up first. Please God, please, please.”

I was panting, my mouth was already dry, my face is hurting, I got wind burn. I realized I didn’t bring any scarf with me. I was chilling, panting, hurting, and crying but I DON’T CARE!!! And so I continued to climb and to my eased I HAVE ARRIVED!!! I SUMMITTED THE THRID HIGHEST PEAK OF THE PHILIPPINES!!! I couldn’t believe it! I was the first to have reached the top. IT WAS SURREAL! It was beautiful, it was indeed heaven on earth. IT WAS ALL WORTH IT!!!

“God, I know You were thinking of me when you created this. 

You knew on May 16, 2015 your daughter will be here and so you made it EXTRA BEAUTIFUL for me. Thank You Father for Your wonderful creation.”

The GREATEST reward comes from doing things that scare you the most.

LIFE LESSON: The closer you get to your dream, the harder it gets, DO NOT GIVE UP!

As we make our way back to the ranger I’ve realized that life is like a CLIMB, sometimes you get ahead of the others, sometimes you are at far end but it just doesn’t matter. It’s not about how fast you can get there, it’s really not about what is waiting on the other side, not even the sunrise or the summit, it’s the CLIMB. It’s not the destination; IT’S THE JOURNEY that truly gives us the joy of life.

And when we have arrived, let us not forget to encourage those who haven’t. Because just like what I used to say. 

 “This CLIMB (LIFE) is meaningless if it did not alter somebody else’s. All these achievements and awards (SUMMIT) are nothing if it won’t benefit other people. We are blessed only so we can be a blessing” – Abby Borja

As I come home, I become extra grateful. For an hour I was just lying there, thanking God for my comfortable bed, for my soft pillows, for the warm water that runs from my faucet, for the food in my fridge, for the warm weather here in Manila and I promised never ever to complain again.

MAY 16, 2015, I summited the Philippines' Third Highest Peak, Mount Pulag.

THE MOUNTAIN PROVIDING US WITH WATER.
God has given you every resources you need to make it happen, you just have to trust that everything will work out for your good.

If you get tired, you can take a rest but DON'T EVER GIVE UP.

If you think you are getting nowhere, you are wrong. All you have to do is to keep putting one foot forward.

SEA OF CLOUDS

This is Kuya Joey, our guide, if not for him I wouldn't have made it. Thank you Kuya!

This was me, SOOOOO COOOOOOOLLLDDDDD! Brrrrr....
There will be circumstances that will try to break you. The weather up there was so cold I asked God to call it quits but God said, "My Child my grace is sufficient for you."
PRESS ON!!! YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE!

Because of you Mount Kalbo I am a better person now, truly grateful for whatever I have. Thank you for giving me a different perspective. I WAS FOREVER CHANGED BY YOU.

It's never the person that makes the climb, it's always the CLIMB THAT MAKES THE PERSON.

Footnote:

1.      Things to Bring: http://www.mountpulagadventures.com/p/checklist.html