It’s the 7th of April, 5 in the morning and I am
up. This morning I woke up banging my head on the wall, I sneezed so hard my
head hit the wall, it hurts but it’s okay. For so many ways this morning God
have been graciously trying to wake me up but I was hesitant. While sleeping, I
remember I was cold, so I woke up to pull the blankets on me and then after
sometime it’s hot and I was sweating so I had to get up to face the fan towards
me, the next thing I know I was sneezing because again I was cold. I sneezed
for so many times but every time I was able to put myself in sleep again. I love
sleep so much that I am having a hard time getting up but this time God was determined. Facing
the same direction, He made me sneezed just one last time and BANG! My head hit
the wall and I was wide awake, LOL. I knew God was waking me up, and He made
sure this time I would stay awake. It’s like I can almost hear Him telling me,
“Abby!
Abby! Wake up! I have a surprise for you.”
Instantly, I have reached for my phone expectantly checking,
wishing and praying for a txt message. God knows how I have been waiting for
that reply zealously since yesterday and this morning I got it. Sent 2 in the
morning, I opened, scanned and my heart started to skip. It was long, actually
3 pages long.
While reading her message I can almost feel her. Her long-emotion
filled messages were so familiar to me, I ache but at the same time becomes
very excited! I ache because I wasn't with her, I wished I was there comforting
her right now, speaking words of encouragement but God said “IT’S OKAY.” Because
I know for sure that I will be able to comfort her soon. I became excited at
the same time; because for weeks, that girl has been wandering on my mind and now I am amazed how she finds her way to my heart. I knew God wanted us to share something more
than just the dance floor, where we dance in an annual battle I am heading. I
knew since day 1 that this girl would become a special part of my life one day and this time right now, she is starting to occupy a special place in my heart…
These past few days, I have been ruthlessly and fervently asking
God that if He wants to use me, truly
wants to use me I asked Him to open doors and give me an opportunity to be able
to enter in and I am amazed how He answered in the most unimaginable ways.
Yesterday, I received an sms, it was from her and right
there I knew God is already at work. She happened to know this person I get to
talk in facebook because of Dance4Life, and she was so excited to tell me that
they met and that he is real. Our conversation went on and she started opening
up. My heart breaks for her as I know the struggle of being where I used to be:
LACK. I understand because for almost 20 years of my life I have been where she
is right now and I wanted to her to know that there is hope. While all she
knows is that she needed a job this summer to earn money so she can continue her
studies next school year I know a better solution, in fact the ULTIMATE
solution to all her problems and that is JESUS. This girl needed
Jesus Christ so much I couldn't delay my invitation one more day and so I sent
my long overdue message I so wanted to send her very long time ago. “Today, I
would no longer let fear of rejection and persecution hinder me from sharing
His love to this hurting world. Today, I will make a stand to share Him
fearlessly and relentlessly to every person He puts in front of me.” And today
it’s Che-che. And to my surprise she said yes to me, she said “Thank you po Ate
Abby. Sige po maghahanap na po ako ng pamasahe.” And right there how I long for
a car, how I wish I have a car so I could just pick her up so she doesn’t have
to worry about her fare but God said, “IT IS OKAY.”so if it okay to God then it is okay for me. So I waited
for her reply as I confirmed to meet in Mall of Asia, the next day. And it was
today. Last night I was anxiously waiting for her reply, so I sent her again another message reminding her of our meeting tomorrow but again I got no response and
so I went to bed full of hope that tomorrow when I wake up I would have her reply.
AND this morning I got it. The text said she couldn't
come and my heart fall to pieces. I was upset and frustrated, she couldn't come because she only have 50.00
and it is not enough to bring herself to MOA and I ache. I ache because while I
thoughtlessly spends thousands of pesos in shopping and unnecessary purchases,
this girl couldn't make her way to the mall because she just doesn't have
enough money. While all along thinking to bless this girl because I have enough money, she
ends up blessing me instead of valuable priceless lessons and I know I will
never be the same Abby again.
But I will not let the enemy win, we have to meet, I have to meet her and so I knelt down, prayed to God who can meet every need I have, the God who can encourage when my word seems so insufficient to lift her up. In my exasperation I cried out, “God if you want her to know You, bring her to MOA.” For once it seems like I’m lost in words, so for minutes I have been repeating that sentence over and over again almost begging God to do a miracle for me and Che-che.
But I will not let the enemy win, we have to meet, I have to meet her and so I knelt down, prayed to God who can meet every need I have, the God who can encourage when my word seems so insufficient to lift her up. In my exasperation I cried out, “God if you want her to know You, bring her to MOA.” For once it seems like I’m lost in words, so for minutes I have been repeating that sentence over and over again almost begging God to do a miracle for me and Che-che.
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Walk by faith, not by sight. |
I know I can just easily
offer that I will just go to her house and pick her up and together we can go to MOA
but I can sense that God wants something here. He wants Che-che to start
trusting Him and He is starting to reveal Himself to her and so I wait
patiently for Him and I remember the story of the bible of
a widow whom the prophet Elijah encountered in Zarepath.
“I don’t have any
bread – only a handful of flour in a jar and a little oil in a jug. I am
gathering a few sticks to take home and make a meal for myself and my son that
we may eat it – and die.” (1 Kings 17:12) and this is all she got atleast
for what she knew. Just like Che-che who has only 50.00 thinking that this is
all she got but the prophet Elijah knows more and I too know more…
"And Elijah says to her, 'Don’t
be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small cake of
bread for me from yourself and your son. For this is what the Lord, the God of
Israel, says: The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not
run dry until the day the Lord sends rain on the land.' so
she went and she did exactly what he said." (1 Kings 17:13,14)
I wanted Che-che to know this kind of
trust and I want to know it too...
The story continues “So
there was food everyday for Elijah and for the woman and her family. For the
jar of flour was not used up and the jug of oil did not run dry.” ( 1 Kings 17:15-16)
Just like what the prophet Elijah asked the widow, I asked
Che-che.to put her everything in the hands of an infinite God who loves and
cares for her so much because I know that everything we put in God's hands always MULTIPLIES. And so to her I sent words of encouragement and
affirmation of God’s love for her,
And I want her to know how blessed she is in so many ways. But I also want her to know that in her lack and inability, God's power is made perfect. Because truly if we have it altogether why would we need a God? If we never know lack, then how can we know that He is a God who Provides? If we never felt loneliness, how then can we know the warmth of His great love for us? If we never know pain, how then can we know the fullness of His joy?
We lack, we are in pain, we are unable only because God wants to be God to us. Our brokenness, imperfections, powerlessness make us hungry for the care and love of an infinite God: Who is ABLE when we are not. Who is STRONG when we are weak. Who is BIG when we are small. so I sent her this last message…
I told her,
"IT IS OKAY because God said IT IS OKAY.
"IT IS OKAY because God said IT IS OKAY.
I told her that she has 50.00 pesos and IT IS OKAY because half of the world's population today is dying because of starvation;
IT IS OKAY because she has HOME because 1/3 of the world's population is out there lying on the street's floor sleeping in the cold of night;
IT IS OKAY because she is HEALTHY, because today billions of people lay in bed sick.
IT IS OKAY because she has family, both parents because some children are without a mother or a father and for some both.
IT IS OKAY because that 50.00 pesos, that home, that health, those parents she has is something maybe 90% of the world's population aches and prays to have."
And I want her to know how blessed she is in so many ways. But I also want her to know that in her lack and inability, God's power is made perfect. Because truly if we have it altogether why would we need a God? If we never know lack, then how can we know that He is a God who Provides? If we never felt loneliness, how then can we know the warmth of His great love for us? If we never know pain, how then can we know the fullness of His joy?
We lack, we are in pain, we are unable only because God wants to be God to us. Our brokenness, imperfections, powerlessness make us hungry for the care and love of an infinite God: Who is ABLE when we are not. Who is STRONG when we are weak. Who is BIG when we are small. so I sent her this last message…
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It's okay to TRUST God with our everything. |
I know deep in my heart that I will soon meet Che-Che. I
would be able to care for her just like how God wants me to care for her. I will
tell her how much love and longing her Maker has for her. While I am not sure
if I’m going see her later today, my heart is fully persuaded that one day we
will and she will know God like I have known Him. She will fell in love to this
God who has always been thinking of her since the creation of this world and I want
her to know and feel that she is love, ALWAYS.
